In a fast world, that provokes a living-in-the-moment impulsive lifestyle, being a thinker is a beautiful thing. It allows you to look at the world, and look at decisions in a lot of ways that the majority of people won’t take the time to. Being a thinker is really utilizing the mind for the weapon that it really is, but just like any other weapon, it could be your worst enemy as well. Something as powerful as the mind could be your driving force to success, or the devil in your demise, depending on the way you decide to use it. Somewhere between the pessimist, the realist, and the optimist, the black and the white, is the thinker. We, as thinkers, often live in the gray area of life, the “what ifs”, the “what might be going on”, the symbolism and the not-so-obvious. We’re not easily believers of what seems so black and white in this world, and often take a stance at looking deeper into everything, which once again, could be used to your favor or on the contrary.
There is a great downfall and dark side to the thinker, who can also become overly analytical, paranoid, lonely and unable to find faith in pretty much anything. Our habit of thinking deep into things may cause us to challenge trust in situations we don’t really have too, or to challenge love, life, death, and religious ideals (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing). What separates just having awareness of the dark realities of the world, and the dark side of thinking, is expectancy. For example, everyone’s aware that someone close to them could back stab them, but they have faith they won’t. Now, through the lens of the negative thinker, they’re waiting for someone to do it. In the same aspect none of us have seen God, but a lot of people have faith that he exists, while the thinker needs their evidence. A thinker will pin logic versus the thought of God, and externalizing all responsibility for good and bad to one being, who no one can prove with more than myth of his/her existence. The bible is about as believable as “The 3 little pigs”, to someone whose trying to apply logic to everything. “Miracles never leave the churches”, Nas once said on “Deja Vu”, which reflects the attitude of a lot of thinkers based in logistics, to whom, the bible is a fairy tale story of morality, at best, just as any other with characters, imagination and plots tied together by an underlying message. Me, personally, I dabble in the world of spirituality, but not religion (that’s a different story). This is just one piece of evidence in the art of challenging as a thinker.
Being a thinker could also interfere with success, if used the wrong way. In a lot of success stories, there is one big risk someone took, that happened to pay off. A lot of those who prospered, may have actually had the vision to see where it was going, but most were shooting in the dark, most likely in hopeless situations, which require a little less brains and a little more balls. The negative thinker doesn’t take that risk, because of the the odds, and the greater possibility of failure. The more you think into the situation, the more real the negative outcomes become, the more doubt plays a role, as opposed to just shooting the dice. The possibility of failure is always there, but for someone who utilizes to their mind to great extents, the sounds inside your head can be too loud to ignore. The reality is, sometimes you just have to go for it, regardless of the odds. That logic in itself may seem stupid, but sometimes the risk is worth the reward, and all that thinking might not get you anywhere. Other times, the risk of failure isn’t that great, but becomes exaggerated by the thought of it going wrong or over-analyzing. In these situations, the thinkers mind works as a rear view mirror, meaning things seem bigger than they actually are. The thought of failure in this specific sense is an embodiment of all the negative outcomes that people who tend to over-think, will become paranoid about. Death, is also a devil in the mind of the over analytical. The reality of thousands of people dying everyday in a number of ways, mixed with the gray area, “what if” nature of the thinker, can formulate into “If thousands of people die everyday, why can’t it be me today?”. Once again, a harsh reality, but what separates most people from the negative thinkers, is that the thinker will let that reality consume them.
Trust is also something that can be negatively effected by the nature of the thinker, I’ll take this one from a personal standpoint. Coming up I had numerous amounts of substanceless connections with females, we’d talk, mess around a little, but it would never get passed that. Regardless of how cool they were, how attractive they might have been, I never let it get too far. It wasn’t about insecurity in myself, I was fine with myself, what ran through my head was the number of good-for-nothing girlfriends of other guys, who had tried to move in on me, or pass me their number, and I promised myself I’d never be that guy. I was always observant, which is usually a positive characteristic, but it’s the way my mind processed certain instances and happenings, that interferes with my life sometimes. So fast forward to 2011, I’m 21 and I actually do look passed the negative possibilities (or so I thought), and get in a relationship. I had known her for a while, as good friends, there was always a mutual interest as more than that, but once again, I never let it manifest. I had known her through two of her passed relationships, in which, no matter the circumstances, she never did anything disloyal behind their back, which was intriguing, especially in a world where girls behave just like men in the aspect of infidelity. So I gave it a shot. Though, I got passed stage one of the trust issues, the aspect of 100 percent trusting someone was just not realistic to me. It effected our relationship, it prevented me from fully indulging, or expressing real emotion or thoughts of mine, in fear that one day this whole thing would fall apart and my significant other would use my secrets as a weapon. On the other hand, I wondered why it was worth it to give my all to someone, who MIGHT fuck me over in the end, like so many other partners that seemed promising at first. It led to multiple issues within the relationship, whether it was not giving her credit for being loyal, not being 100 percent in on the relationship and not having faith in the future. All the arguments, tension-filled nights, all caused by over-thinking and seeing something that wasn’t there, that’s the poison. You think you’re ahead of the game, but you’re really stagnating yourself.
The common thread connecting the cursed thinkers negative relationship with love, trust, success and religion, is a type of distorted logic, that may be a product of turbulence throughout someone’s life and it’s aftermath. As stated earlier, the relationship between the Thinker and religion, may not be a product of “distorted” logic in the thinker, it could also be the “distorted” logic of religious doctrines and teachings, but to the masses, challenging God is still not popular. As far as success, love and trust, the problematic logic could cause for a lot of unnecessary stress in your life. Though it may be based in odds, experiences and your surrounding world, sometimes it really is healthier to say “fuck it”, and not be afraid to live and learn. As a thinker who gets effected by it negatively, you may be labeled delusional, paranoid or down right, crazy. But it still speaks to our potential. Though negative thinkers may have once been optimists who are now jaded due to life’s circumstances, imagine staying positive. For our mind to be powerful enough to shape our behavior, personality and our life in general to the extent it does, we can use it for better too. As a matter of fact, being a positive thinker has actually shown results and reflected itself in people’s lives externally, so it’s really all a matter of how you use it. It’s not about being too observant, or being too aware, it’s the way you process the information and whether you use it going forward, or let it discourage you….To be continued.