Tag Archives: instagram

A Conversation with an Instagram “vixen”

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In the era of “Love & Hip Hop”, being famous for nothing is at an all time high. Times are as shallow as ever, and it’s got women too heavily dependant on likes, looks and sponsors for a sense of self-worth. These likes and followers, don’t mean-a-motherfuckin’-thing, that silicone in your ass is bad for your health and that old guy with money is going to bounce on you when he finds a new PYT. The popularity and attention is cool I guess, if you’re into all that, but there’s a saying, “If you’re good at something, never do it for free”. With that said, if you’re good at grabbing attention and you have a growing support base, apply it in a business sense, it’ll go further.

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Hosting parties shouldn’t be a career plan.

But, unfortunately, in the mind-fuck-of-a world that we live in today, it’s considered as an option. There’s not an ounce of hate in my blood, I’d just like to see young women aspire to be more. There’s nothing wrong with gathering a following, hosting parties at different clubs in your city, getting a spot in a Fab video, but it should be more of a vehicle to your destination, rather than the destination itself. Build a brand, not just a hollow following, who are just there to watch you sell your soul for some attention. Don’t just end up a bum whose nice to look at.

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The ironic thing is I hear women speaking less of other women who become strippers, calling them out of their name in all types of forms and fashion, and criticizing them for “setting low bar for women all over”. I say “if you got it, then make money off it” because times ticking, especially if it’s a physical asset. Though some women age like they’re stuck in time, the window of opportunity closes quick for those who find success on the basis of appearance. That’s not to necessarily say they become unattractive, but they get old, not always in age just old to look at as well (I.e. Vida Guerra). When all you have to offer is a fat ass and a nice face, There’s plenty of 18 year females uptown on Dyckman who are going to steal your spotlight by this time next year. That’s just the nature of the vain game, everyone wants the fresh face, so you have to keep yourself relevant in other ways. I say that to say, strippers and instafamous broads advertise the same assets, one of them is just making money off it, while the other one is just getting a couple of parched individuals to follow them. So, whose really the dumb bird?.

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Now, I’m not saying if you’re a popular-attractive-person on IG, go be a stripper, but go find a hustle and don’t get too caught up in the moment. Don’t become too content with anything you can’t put on a resume and don’t let the likes and followers give you a false sense of accomplishment. You can become a brand ambassador for a product or you can model for up-and-coming streetwear/clothing lines and charge them to use your space and popularity. There’s a million ways to use the outlet you have, the only wrong way, is thinking the attention is good enough…

Side bar:Death to silicone, bring the natural women back.

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Double-Consciousness: The Duality of Social Networks and The Real World

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We’re in a time when people put more effort into their identity on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, than their personality and their individual in the real world. I’m not one of the people who think the world was a better place before cell phones, texting and social networks, because they’re all very useful and essential for the fast world we’re living in. But I do question what it’s doing to my people socially. It’s starting to feel like even the most outspoken people on social networks and in text messages, are some of the most socially awkward people in face to face conversation. There’s a lack of a balance between who we are in real life and who we are with a phone or computer screen between us and the rest of the world. We start believing that being successfully sociable and accepted online is enough, and forget about people skills, becoming as stiff as our default picture and only as vocal as the keyboard will let us be. In certain cases, people even believe themselves to be overnight celebrities, after writing a few things people agree with, or posting a picture with a filter on it getting them more attention than they ever did walking down the street.

To certain people, the more followers you have, or the more likes you get, the more you’re getting somewhere in life. That’s not necessarily true. If you’re marketing your product or trying to build a brand, then yes, the more attention you’re getting on these social networks may help you get going in the necessary direction. Realistically, most people aren’t using it as a marketing tool for anything but vanity, surface value shit.  I just got my check, let me cash it and post it on IG to show people I’m getting money. I just got these new red bottoms, or these new trues, let me flex a little. My baby father isn’t shit, let me post a status on Facebook, or rant on twitter about it. Some are damn near stand up comedians online, and just can’t deliver the joke the same way in a circle of people. All fine, you want to flaunt a little, or express something to your people online, cool, but don’t get lost in it. I’ve seen regular people transform into GQ models, Preachers and “Bad Bitches” after a few hundred followers and some attention on their posts. It’s okay to get a boost from the attention, but for your confidence as whole to be dependent on your likes, we have a problem. I have a story to tell. I went to high school with a girl, who I was always cordial with, she was a soft spoken, nice, genuinely good person. She was never ugly, she received a moderate amount of attention from guys, nothing crazy. Eventually Instagram came along a few years later and all of a sudden this humble girl has 100 plus likes, almost 2,000 followers, and I’m thinking “good for her”. But then I start hearing from her old friends, how they had a falling out for bullshit reasons and how she’s “changed” with no apparent drastic turn in her life. I’m thinking “all these females talk shit about each other, I can’t take one of their words over another”, I just couldn’t see THIS girl, acting arrogant. Then I ran into her in a club in Queens this past year, first time I’ve seen her in a year. The last time I saw her was at a house party, we caught up, shit was cool. Funny what a year and some likes will do. Now, She walks in the spot like she owns the place, on some celebrity shit. I see her say “Hello”, she gives a cold wave and keeps it moving. I don’t take it personal, just a shame that one day shes going to have to realize that likes and followers aren’t likely to pay her bills, or going to be there to console her when shes by herself. Just goes to show that attention could be the devil in the wrong hands, lol. Everyone has their own personalized story about someone like that.

Regardless of all the changes in the world, one thing still remains. Social skills, real world social skills, are a big part of moving forward in life. If you can text 3 paragraphs, you should be able to hold a conversation with more than one word answers and without making the other person feel like they’re talking to a wall. If you’re an intellectual on Facebook status’, you should be able to delve further into your logic when someone asks you about it on the street. If you have a bunch of thirst-bucket followers on Instagram, don’t get gassed. Becoming cocky off the strength of likes, only shows your lack of true self esteem. Don’t be a keyboard thug, if you know that you’re not that tough, people have actually been killed for typing the wrong comment on Facebook (shaking-my-fuckin’-head). Pay more attention to getting a degree, getting a job, getting paid, maintaining your relationships, growing and maturing as a person socially and individually. This social network shit is a nice escape, but for the majority of us, there is no future in it. There’s a harsh reality check in store for some of us.

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